If I am dead- read this

First of all, don't freak out. You're talking to a dead person- just like you probably are whenever you pick up a book written before 1950. I'm one of them now- I'll never get to tell you what I think about what happens tomorrow.

I don't really mind. I am happy and while I would have enjoyed all of the tomorrows, I enjoyed today. I tried my hardest to live every single day in every single day, not in any tomorrows. So don't feel sorry.

I am sorry though. If I have one regret right now, it's that my passing makes you sad. (Unless you had a tomorrow thing that you needed me for. That wasn't very smart, and I hope you learned from that.) So somehow I died- that's like if we were walking together, like we do, and an old friend came up and slapped me. I know the man, I forgive him. Don't be vicariously angry, or touch your own cheek in pain.

I hope I don't die anytime soon, but as a precaution I thought you should hear. I was never much for social norms that weren't any good. I'm dead. Get over it. I love you. 

...yes, you.

God's sonic imprint (She and J)

J and I laughed at an inside joke-
haha God is a baritone haha
She didn't get it; leaning
over I said
God's voice isn't a baritone voice
What is it She
asked.

Have you ever plucked a piano string
(She was musically illiterate- the sound wasn't there)
J knew only because I had explained this before to her
but every time it was new- that's how I knew it was true.
I couldn't explain it to without breathing harder

It takes a moment- just a moment- to hear the sound of a piano
you press as hard as you can and it still takes the same moment
unless you can't hear that, or know it so well from playing.

She smiled. God's voice was a piano- a words piano, what a poet I am
Do you undertand? I asked
She said yes and I knew no

When I talk to God, the sound comes immediately.
I know God and I have no clue- it feels good to hear the hammer strike before physics catches up
that's music, I know,
She doesn't. J can't, J tries.
J's God isn't a piano.

She looked at me still, and I play her song.

been a while, been busy though

Royalty-free music for professional licensing

my mother's sweater

I borrowed my mom's
sweater.
I didn't notice the
"Visitor's Pass"
stuck on the front
from before.

vaya commercial- just approved

How come all the hot guys are potheads?

Referent

Mr. Scott,

I hope this isn't too confusing:  I am thinking as I write. I know I sound darn silly and egoistic, but I'm just figuring this out conciously for the first time, and plus I don't think anyone can sound adequately humble when they're talking about enlightenment.  I also assume everything I say you've heard before and better said, (see, I learn from my mistakes) but I'll continue for my own sake.  Getting away from that self-awareness that Emerson labeled the root of all barriers to truth...

I finished the book and I believe I understand how my idea (that intuition is a natural substitute for education although both travel towards enlightenment) and yours (that enlightenment is a byproduct of of logic and is neither true nor logic's end) fit together.  You might have made that connection because I mentioned those byproducts of... institutional logic? in how I introduced my idea.  They hold water but not truth.  But it's not just that, our ideas are related because they're reaching towards the same thing.

Okay so they're connected now.  I'm going to give you what I gave a friend who I was trying to keep from cutting herself. 

Now the conversation surrounding the drawing of this diagram isn't very important to our current discussion, but what is important is that I'm talking about enlightenment.  Saying that in that particular instance would have ruined the situation (saying "understanding the world" almost did). 

The conversation I had with my friend is important because she accused me of living in my head, and I know that's a dangerous place to be.  So I realized that we both needed new ways of solving the big problem.  This is why I am thinking about intuition. 

I recognize that this destination of enlightenment takes quite a bit of faith to believe in, which I feel isn't your strong suit.  Is your idea a perpendicular wall in my diagram?  One of Pirsig's gumption traps?  I don't know it enough to try thinking that one through.  And I know you don't think of it that way, of course, but that's where you fit in on my diagram. 

Of course I am not proposing a solution,  I know I will be thinking about this until I am a nun and afterwards even, but how do I know that?  Intuition.  Which is where the book is going.  Which is why the book is important to the both of us. 

Mr. Scott, yesterday you were speaking yourself and you sounded sincere for the first time in this whole conversation about enlightenment.  You weren't not playing the devil's advocate, I don't think.  Scratch that actually. (Although it is true.  I find you interesting and very likeable all of the time, but especially when I hear yourself in your voice) But forget about that. 

The entire time I was talking with my friend I knew that our words were an important reference point for future thought and just growing up.  I intuitively know this dialogue is important to my personal development.  Let's continue.  This was a very roundabout way of asking:  can you explain what you mean?